Tabloid, the clickbait programming language

Tabloid, the language every 10x programmer recommends. Tabloid is an overnight hack by thesephist. The below example is a fully functioning fibonacci algorithm, written with Tabloid:

DISCOVER HOW TO fibonacci WITH a, b, n
RUMOR HAS IT
    WHAT IF n SMALLER THAN 1
        SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT b
    LIES! RUMOR HAS IT
        YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS b
        SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT
            fibonacci OF b, a PLUS b, n MINUS 1
    END OF STORY
END OF STORY

EXPERTS CLAIM limit TO BE 10
YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS 'First 10 Fibonacci numbers'
EXPERTS CLAIM nothing TO BE fibonacci OF 0, 1, limit

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